I guess there are too many ode to dead love ones here in my blog. I wish this will not become an obituary. But I can't help but to share my piece of mind...
Fr. Mel came to visit our school today to follow up our students who signed up during the vocation campaign. He looks like Fr. Ador, one of my teachers in Theo during my college days. And so we started to chat about some people I remembered from SLU until the name of Sr. Myrna suddenly came up. Shocked was I when he said she just passed away sometime this year. A dear friend and was one of the people who was there and believed in me during my trying times.
I can't recall how did I get acquainted with her but she in the campus ministry at that time. I was passive, naive, so silent and so serious in life. She was friendly, warm, "kenkoy", so accommodating and invited me in the Mission Club. Being new in the SLU parish, she led me to join in the various activities and these helped me to become a better person. She was one of the people who saw my potentials. She did not encourage me but she gave me tasks that developed these. Above all, she understood that "thing", that was eccentric in me. She knows it and led me on how to use it properly.
There was even a time when I was so puzzled with my dreams. Instead of telling me the meaning (I know she knows) she guided me on how to process myself to discover the key to it. Now, that key is still being in used until today (and i wish to improve on it). Sometimes, i have questions in mind and she would just be telling me how to do it.
There was even a time that i cannot accept that my mother has a boyfriend (my mom's a widow) and I am angry about it. She was there willing to listen. She introduced me to a lot of people and led me to become friendlier, to be involved, and to get out of the shell of a jail that I am in.
When it was already time for her to leave because she will become a provincial directress, i wrote her a letter of thanks and she replied "...Sally, do you know that you can write clearly well? Keep on..." That line is one of the reasons why I practice to write even when busy. That line is popping up in my mind every time I am thinking if I am going to write or not. And above all, that line always reminds me of her.
Sometime this year, I dreamed of her. That dream was so uneventful. It reminded me of her and I started thinking how is she. Because of being busy, I did not dwell much on it what did it mean. It was only today that I now know why: she visited me that night.
My last memory of her was during her despedida. That was the first time I saw her sad. I understood what was in her mind: she will miss the parish. I wondered why she was that sad. All I know was that it is not yet the end. There are still ways of getting in touch: email and texts. I didn't know that it will be the last time that we will be seeing each other.
Months and years passed by...I heard the news that she was going through breast cancer. Of course prayers were offered. Then I learned that she was doing well and fine. Then I was shocked when I heard of her passing away. They never told me she was going through stage 4 of breast cancer. I didn't intended to, but I suddenly said: "why didn't my friends informed me?" Father Mel explained that in her community, death is something that is not being spread around. Only those who are in the inner circle of the society will know it.
(Sigh)...Sr Myrna will be greatly missed but I know she is now in peace in heaven.
Friday, November 12, 2010
Monday, October 18, 2010
A piece of my thoughts on a stormy day
Monday October 18, 2010 and most of the people are at home preparing and being watchful for the coming of super typhoon Juan.
Usually on a stormy day, I would cuddle myself with a book and a cup of coffee or watch a film. But today, my thoughts are how to make my lesson plan. There is an uncertainty if i'll make a three day plan or two days? From time to time, I check the net for updates on the storm's track from a reliable website i've been using for years now (http://www.maybagyo.com). Here I can see also possible dates and places where the storm's eye could be. And from the development, it says that by two am tomorrow, the storm's eye would be by the South China Sea. That is, if it will not change course or the storm will not slow down.
Another thing that is bothering me is how to squeeze the remaining lesson for the 2nd second grading in a short span of time. There are a lot of things to prepare for. Another concern is on the cheering of our unit. A month from now would be the intrams and the cheerers have not gone yet that far in terms of preparations and organizations. I itch to make my cheerers to win again this year's cheer dance.
Well, other concerns pop up in my mind. The challenge of making the liturgy be recognized in the student's heart, JCM and how to improve them and the formation they are supposed to be having these days. Time goes by so fast but programs are so slow to be implemented. haizt...
My stay as a coordinator might only be for one year for i guess my assignment this year is temporary. Though i don't want it at first, later i see the wisdom of God why he willed me to be here. There are a lot of concepts and ideas popping in my mind but time and cooperation of the people concerned is a big hindrance. Another is my body. My mind and my spirit wants to accomplish therm so fast but my body also do get tired. For the past month, never did i miss getting sick. For the past days, I get dizzy more frequently. haizt manen....
I only have five months and a half left... I just wish that I would be able to accomplish what God wants me to do. From time to time, I am reminded of a sentence I picked up from one of the CYA prayer meetings:"God wants his work advanced in your knees." That's it! never to do the work alone but always remember that God is with me and in prayers he works fast and efficient.
Usually on a stormy day, I would cuddle myself with a book and a cup of coffee or watch a film. But today, my thoughts are how to make my lesson plan. There is an uncertainty if i'll make a three day plan or two days? From time to time, I check the net for updates on the storm's track from a reliable website i've been using for years now (http://www.maybagyo.com). Here I can see also possible dates and places where the storm's eye could be. And from the development, it says that by two am tomorrow, the storm's eye would be by the South China Sea. That is, if it will not change course or the storm will not slow down.
Another thing that is bothering me is how to squeeze the remaining lesson for the 2nd second grading in a short span of time. There are a lot of things to prepare for. Another concern is on the cheering of our unit. A month from now would be the intrams and the cheerers have not gone yet that far in terms of preparations and organizations. I itch to make my cheerers to win again this year's cheer dance.
Well, other concerns pop up in my mind. The challenge of making the liturgy be recognized in the student's heart, JCM and how to improve them and the formation they are supposed to be having these days. Time goes by so fast but programs are so slow to be implemented. haizt...
My stay as a coordinator might only be for one year for i guess my assignment this year is temporary. Though i don't want it at first, later i see the wisdom of God why he willed me to be here. There are a lot of concepts and ideas popping in my mind but time and cooperation of the people concerned is a big hindrance. Another is my body. My mind and my spirit wants to accomplish therm so fast but my body also do get tired. For the past month, never did i miss getting sick. For the past days, I get dizzy more frequently. haizt manen....
I only have five months and a half left... I just wish that I would be able to accomplish what God wants me to do. From time to time, I am reminded of a sentence I picked up from one of the CYA prayer meetings:"God wants his work advanced in your knees." That's it! never to do the work alone but always remember that God is with me and in prayers he works fast and efficient.
Monday, October 11, 2010
Gaygay
4:00 o'clock today Monday October 11, 2010: after 15 days of deep sleep, our dear Gaygay's sufferings finally ended. She is our first cousin from my dad's 2nd sister. The 2nd of three girls.
A month ago, she was admitted in the hospital for typhoid fever. Her case made it worst because she is a sickly child. She was released from the hospital then went back again for complications. Then on one Monday, she incurred seizure then went into a state of coma.
I came to visit her a week after, that was even the days when the team of principals in the diocesan school is having their observation in our classes. And while i held her limp hand, sadness and deep sadness flowed over me.
She's so young, at sweet sixteen, a first year college and a scholarship waiting for her. Thoughts of which would be better flooded my mind. Would it be better if she will go? Or pray for a miracle?
As she lays there, with the machine which is the only one keeping her alive, she looks so peacefully asleep. But as I look at uncle and auntie, pain is in their eyes. But somewhat, the truth will have to be accepted. Maybe the consolation we quietly realized is that at least there was enough time of joy she gave to her parents for she was conceived when nobody expected auntie to get pregnant. And during her growing up years, she always suffer from migraine. Now, she will feel those sufferings no more. And the most greatest gift our angel Gaygay gave is the reconciliation of my aunts and uncles after a very long time of no communication and indifferences.
I cannot fathom God's wisdom for letting her slip from us, but for sure, she is now an angel resting in the comforts of God's heavenly kingdom guarding and guiding her family.
She also reminds of how short life is and therefore be lived to the fullest in the glory of God.
Rest now, Gaygay dear, your sufferings has now ended. Be the angel your mom and dad needs now. Thank you for briefly spending joy with us. Thank you for reconciling the siblings and may their bonding be restored as brothers and sisters.
A month ago, she was admitted in the hospital for typhoid fever. Her case made it worst because she is a sickly child. She was released from the hospital then went back again for complications. Then on one Monday, she incurred seizure then went into a state of coma.
I came to visit her a week after, that was even the days when the team of principals in the diocesan school is having their observation in our classes. And while i held her limp hand, sadness and deep sadness flowed over me.
She's so young, at sweet sixteen, a first year college and a scholarship waiting for her. Thoughts of which would be better flooded my mind. Would it be better if she will go? Or pray for a miracle?
As she lays there, with the machine which is the only one keeping her alive, she looks so peacefully asleep. But as I look at uncle and auntie, pain is in their eyes. But somewhat, the truth will have to be accepted. Maybe the consolation we quietly realized is that at least there was enough time of joy she gave to her parents for she was conceived when nobody expected auntie to get pregnant. And during her growing up years, she always suffer from migraine. Now, she will feel those sufferings no more. And the most greatest gift our angel Gaygay gave is the reconciliation of my aunts and uncles after a very long time of no communication and indifferences.
I cannot fathom God's wisdom for letting her slip from us, but for sure, she is now an angel resting in the comforts of God's heavenly kingdom guarding and guiding her family.
She also reminds of how short life is and therefore be lived to the fullest in the glory of God.
Rest now, Gaygay dear, your sufferings has now ended. Be the angel your mom and dad needs now. Thank you for briefly spending joy with us. Thank you for reconciling the siblings and may their bonding be restored as brothers and sisters.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
International Teacher's Day
October 5 is International Teacher's day and we spent this day under observation from the principals of the Diocese of Baguio. Many of us if not all, prepared well and didn't sleep well in preparation and agitation of this team observation. And after the long agony, we have to humbly accept our low scores whether we are new or old teachers.
Maybe, their standards are too high and we didn't meet their expectations. Maybe, it was just bad luck that the universe around did not cooperate. But what is most heart breaking of it all is the fact that even if a teacher will give his/her best, s/he will still go unappreciated and worst, hated for being firm in discipline and in guiding these young minds to become better.
That makes the teaching profession so challenging. As a teacher, I should remind myself not find solace and affirmation from superiors nor from students but from God alone. For it is only Him who can understand and accept my limitations. It is Him who guides and inspires me deeper to become better.
In my own standards, I failed in my observation primarily because many of my students did not cooperate well and maybe my efforts were not enough. I have been hated and threatened just because of the desire to straighten the path of a young mind. But no matter what, only God will be the one who will lead me if I will continue or not.
As for now, I'm still in the process of being molded, and guided to become better. Well, five years of teaching is not enough to acquire the tools, skills and talents to become the best teacher that I can be. And as for now, God is teaching me and testing my humility. Though difficult and disappointing, it is in Him whom I gain my strength. It is also Him who continue to give me the joy and inspiration in the midst of my despair.
And as I do my mission, it is also God who is taking good care of the other material and corporal matters and concerns we have in the family.
Thank you, Lord! Muchos Gracias!
Maybe, their standards are too high and we didn't meet their expectations. Maybe, it was just bad luck that the universe around did not cooperate. But what is most heart breaking of it all is the fact that even if a teacher will give his/her best, s/he will still go unappreciated and worst, hated for being firm in discipline and in guiding these young minds to become better.
That makes the teaching profession so challenging. As a teacher, I should remind myself not find solace and affirmation from superiors nor from students but from God alone. For it is only Him who can understand and accept my limitations. It is Him who guides and inspires me deeper to become better.
In my own standards, I failed in my observation primarily because many of my students did not cooperate well and maybe my efforts were not enough. I have been hated and threatened just because of the desire to straighten the path of a young mind. But no matter what, only God will be the one who will lead me if I will continue or not.
As for now, I'm still in the process of being molded, and guided to become better. Well, five years of teaching is not enough to acquire the tools, skills and talents to become the best teacher that I can be. And as for now, God is teaching me and testing my humility. Though difficult and disappointing, it is in Him whom I gain my strength. It is also Him who continue to give me the joy and inspiration in the midst of my despair.
And as I do my mission, it is also God who is taking good care of the other material and corporal matters and concerns we have in the family.
Thank you, Lord! Muchos Gracias!
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
An ode to an alapo
When I opened my email tonight, I read the news of the passing away of one of our alapos. She is lola Agustina Aliban Na-oy - Alagon. She died around 10 am dis morning of September 21, 2010 Tuesday.
She is one of the sisters of our late grandfather, Celestino "Dumanog" Na-oy. Of the five sibling, if i counted it right, only one is still alive: lola Basilia who is in her 90's. Lolo Dumanog was the first one to go at an age when all of his children are in their 20's and up. Then he was followed by lolo Bacayan then lola Lingayo (the only wake that I traveled as far as Sagada to attend her wake) five years ago.
Nothing much do I remember of her, but the fact that even in their old age, together with the other alapos, they came all the way from Sagada to pay their last respects to my father 19 years ago. The picture is still embedded in my memory. The time and sacrifice and much more the discomfort these sisters have gone through is endearing and touching. They even cared to talk to me and give me advices. Though I don't remember the exact words, I remember well their message. That is, to behave well because they want me to grow up to be a fine lady.
I admit I'm still in the process of becoming to be that fine lady. But one thing is for sure, their advices/or reprimand is one of the sources of my strength and inspiration to become better each day.
Well, lola Agutina is in her very old age already at the time she died. She have lived her life well. Her cares and concerns in this world is no more. She have seen the successes and good life of her children. Her grand children are doing well and she already have two great grand children. Her legacy lives on through the family she built. It is now her time. Her time to rest and meet her family in heaven.
Rest in peace, lola. And may Christ, our Savior, welcome you in the place He prepared.
She is one of the sisters of our late grandfather, Celestino "Dumanog" Na-oy. Of the five sibling, if i counted it right, only one is still alive: lola Basilia who is in her 90's. Lolo Dumanog was the first one to go at an age when all of his children are in their 20's and up. Then he was followed by lolo Bacayan then lola Lingayo (the only wake that I traveled as far as Sagada to attend her wake) five years ago.
Nothing much do I remember of her, but the fact that even in their old age, together with the other alapos, they came all the way from Sagada to pay their last respects to my father 19 years ago. The picture is still embedded in my memory. The time and sacrifice and much more the discomfort these sisters have gone through is endearing and touching. They even cared to talk to me and give me advices. Though I don't remember the exact words, I remember well their message. That is, to behave well because they want me to grow up to be a fine lady.
I admit I'm still in the process of becoming to be that fine lady. But one thing is for sure, their advices/or reprimand is one of the sources of my strength and inspiration to become better each day.
Well, lola Agutina is in her very old age already at the time she died. She have lived her life well. Her cares and concerns in this world is no more. She have seen the successes and good life of her children. Her grand children are doing well and she already have two great grand children. Her legacy lives on through the family she built. It is now her time. Her time to rest and meet her family in heaven.
Rest in peace, lola. And may Christ, our Savior, welcome you in the place He prepared.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Sarah Brightman - Moon River (Lyrics)
Just saw a "literally" blue moon tonight! and I just remember this once in a lifetime experience when I watch this link thru facebook. Hmmmhmmm....just treasuring the moment....
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Backlog
This year, I have so many backlog in my work: papers to check, reports to make and proposed action plan to do and yet, here I am blogging he he he....
Anyway, 'tis will be a short one. Being a CYA or rather my training in CYA, YSL and SOLCC is keeping me from doing a lazy work for to whom is this all dedicated but to the Almighty God. People around me and even my bosses might not know if I'm doing a sloppy job but God does. But I thank God also having with me people who inspire me, to name a few: AK (who is giving now the recollections and until now I seem not to believe she really is here doing me and the Joseans a big favor!), Fr Marcs C. for being an inspiration and example of true humility and availability and my kababata, Annabelle, for staying humble and approachable ( It's sad I'm not that approachable :-( ) even if she is a beauty queen and still beautifull with her two kids.
Well, that's all for now. Got to go back to my paper works.
Anyway, 'tis will be a short one. Being a CYA or rather my training in CYA, YSL and SOLCC is keeping me from doing a lazy work for to whom is this all dedicated but to the Almighty God. People around me and even my bosses might not know if I'm doing a sloppy job but God does. But I thank God also having with me people who inspire me, to name a few: AK (who is giving now the recollections and until now I seem not to believe she really is here doing me and the Joseans a big favor!), Fr Marcs C. for being an inspiration and example of true humility and availability and my kababata, Annabelle, for staying humble and approachable ( It's sad I'm not that approachable :-( ) even if she is a beauty queen and still beautifull with her two kids.
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