It Took Me This Long

October 24, 2008. I've finally decided to take the belt exams. Ready or not, in good physical condition or tired, I have to. I've stalled myself for too long a time.

I've been practicing karate for reasons of discipline and physical fitness only. The discipline part is already hard because as Sensei Jun said, "diay bagi yu ti kalaban yu ditoy" (During practices, it is the self that is the real opponent). To endure pain and push your body to the limits, to discipline the mind to counter the whinning self and focus on the training are already some challenge.

And yes! Finally, I've reached third kyu. But with the higher rank of belt comes greater challenges and responsibility. I have to constantly remind myself to train harder. To put more zeal in the trainings and stop thinking of myself and be a good example to the lower belts.

Here again, I see God's hands at work. He wants me to push harder and to overcome the self. He constantly reminds me of the past. Of Senseis and Sempais who are an inspiration. They are not only good at karate but what I like best at them is their character. A result of the dojokun they carry with them always. They taught me well by word and by example. If before I was their younger sister, now I have to be the elder.

Honestly, I am already the oldest student when it comes to age at the Epiphany gym. The other adults are I think somewhere else around the globe if not in the Philippines. Looking at these young bloods, I can see myself in them. Whatever attitude I carry, they might immitate it. Just like what my seniors have imbibed in me when I was their age. I wonder what am I influencing on them? Is it discipline or lazyness? Hope its the good one.

Responsibility and the invitation to take the challenge are the two things that kept me from advancing. Not only in karate but in some aspect of my life. But hey, I have to move on. I know I can do much more better than my current performance. I am now facing my 'Jungian dragon.' And the belt exams is only the beginning. (Hey, this decision might even push me to join a tournament ha ha...)

What I grasped from two people with great passion in their cause

June 7, 2008. The diocese sent all its teachers to listen to two people who are willing to share their passion and purpose in life. The theme of the day is "Teaching as a vocation." Whether the(the diocese) wants to motivate and inspire their teachers and staff or to make them think of not transferring to greener pastures, there really are a lot of wisdom learned and inspiration from that day. Well, for this blog, lets set aside first the issue of competitive salary and focus instead on the things I want to reflect from that day.

I would start first with the second speaker who gave her talk in the afternoon. She is Ms. Ma. Lourie Victor. A half kankana-ey and half bisaya who looks like a 19 year old college student instead of a 35 years old lady. She is with the episcopal office of the Indigenoeus Peoples. As she was standing there talking about her cause, I can surely say that all of her energies is geared toward the causes of the IP's here in the Philippines. Brilliant she is, heck she is a graduate of Microbiology in the University of the Philippines. And I am proud because she is also a product of the elementary school where I came from: Benguet State University Elementary School.
She studied in Manila all throughout her high school and college days missing her opportunities to be with her IP culture. And now that she has come back, I can see a lot of hunger to get to know more about her Igorot origins. She encouraged us teachers to help in the preservation of our Igorot culture especially our indigenous values. She gave one example. The value of inayan. A value which made the veterans of WWII not to mutilate the dead bodies of the enemies. A value that prevents one Igorot from giving shame to himself and to his community. A value that promotes respect and humility. But sadly, this value of inayan is being forgotten because it is not being taught anymore to our children. She is full of passion for her cause and she made it her vocation. She answered "yes" where the need is most. I admire her for her strength and her energy. She is older than me but I cannot sense any tinge of tiredness. She is full of life, driven and fueled by her passion: the Indigeneous Peoples, her root and identity.

Comparing myself with her, she made me realize not to give up on my own cause. For the passion will help me overcome my own self. When I was at the age of 23 'till last year, I feel like a 91 year old woman. Soooo tired with all the obstacles and disappointments coming my way. Sometimes, I even think that I am only waiting for my own death. I know prayer will help me but there are days I simply want to let go. Another weakness I have is my depression. I'm like an Irish, happy when she's depressed. I admit depression is one of the factors that's eating a lot of my energy. I stopped practicing karate for around three months because of depression. Hence, I have to condition again my body to be fit for my belt and for the next promotional exam. I'm just lucky my sensei is not a slave driver when it comes to practices.


The second person I learned a lot from is the speaker in the morning. He is a first year English teacher in the Ateneo de Manila high school department. Everybody calls him Sir Pagsie. An 81 years old Dr. Onofre Pagsanjan. For what he is and what he is doing now is because of his own choice. Makes me think where does this old man derive all of his energies when in fact he is supposed to be retired for 31 years now. Not to mention that he volunteers his afternoon time to teach voluntarily in a public school! Going home as late as 8pm everyday. Lucky he is, he is with a wonderful, patient and understanding wife.

Again, what makes this old man going around for 81 years and many more is his PASSION.PASSION coming out from his love to share and mold young people to become good if not better. Passion to share his love for Christ because it is the same love shared with him from people around him and priests who helped and inspired him. Passion rooted in his love of GOD. PASSION being nortured everytime he receives the body and blood of Christ in the celebration of the Holy Eucharist. Yes, he is an English teacher talking in front of us but God is always present in all of his sharings. We listened to him from around 8am 'till 12:20(with a snack break of course) and he admits his talk is more of a recollection rather than inspirational, he he he. But hey, what he just shared to us is his own life story, his passion and his cause which is teaching! I realized that if one's life is a journey with God, I say, his life is more of a testimony of God's unending love and even in silence, one becomes a witness of the presence and goodness of God.

Sir Pagsie, though multi awarded and he even beat the late Ninoy Aquino in an oratorical contest, is still best remembered by people and his students as the best teacher around. Even in his speech, I noticed that the words he used whether English or Tagalog are deep vocabularies. Ang lalalim ng mga salita niya. Hinders my mind from wondering around because its busy trying to lunderstand those heavy meaning words. Hmmm...I will read more books to have the same vocabulary as his's.

Even at that age, he talks with so much energy and he continiously moves his hands and body. He even sings some line to make us grasp and remember the point. The atmosphere he creates is gay and lively! Makes me doubt if he really is an 81 year old.

For half a day, there are a whole lot of things learned from sir Pagsie. Classroom management, the mission vision of the American Jesuits summarized in 5 C's, living a simple life, psychology of the students, the concept of not forgetting to integrate in our lessons the significant human experience, availability of the teacher to guide his students, his childhood and what he (and us) learned from his mother that if you want to reach your dream, you should do it with capa y espada! (Like a hero going to a battle with all cape and sword.)and yes, teaching as a vocation. And, many many many more wisdom he shared.

Well, for that morning, we have had an incidental recollection, entertainment, inspirational talk and of course, the five C's imbibed in our hearts. Sir pagsie inspires us that the five C's be one of our objectives for our students. That is to make or mold them to be a wo/man of...
1. Christ centered
2. Conscience
3. Compassion
4. Competence
5. Commitmment.

As for me, these five C's will not only be a goal to my students but also for myself. To check myself if all of the things I do and all I am is Christ centered. Sir Pagsie, I assume delivers well C number one simply by being himself. All he does and all of his talk leads to Christ and is centered on Christ! He even manages to tag along with him some 20 plus of his students to have a "penitensya" and have an incidental lesson on religion and theology at the UP chapel during holy week. Telling also the life story of the priest who touched him who is also the priest who founded that chapel.

Conscience. The diocese doesn't want us to produce people who are successfull
only. But people who are successfull but at the same time, people with conscience. Not thinking only for themselves but also taking into consideration the others especially the less priviledged. Sir Pagsie is proud of his former students who grew up with conscience but for the others (and many of them)who are unfortunately even in the congress, he said: "i'd rather not remember them". Well, values formation is the hardest part of teaching but as my SI(Supervising Instructor, Dr. Schlaaf) said when I was a practicumer, "If there is even one student who becomes a follower of Christ, it is still a success on the part of the teacher." Hmmm...have I one? I wish I have...

Compassion. Love even when not said is felt if it is genuine. One thing that makes Sir Pagsie the best teacher for his students is the love he have for them. The father in him and his availability to listen to his students. He know very well that these richy-rich sons of the elite are neglected when it comes to the attention of the parents. If there are doting parents, it is onely a few of the many. He does this without neglecting his role as a father and husband to his own family. And he even have time to share this love and love of God to the poor in the slums.

Competence. As a teacher, Sir Pagsie gained numereous medals and awards. Remembering what his mother said about capa y espada, he always make sure that his grade is in the line of 9 even when he was included in the lowest section in his entry as a freshman in the Ateneo high school. As for me, I cannot undo anymore my failures in my transcript but while I am still breathing, I am determined to continue improving myself aiming that I will also be included as one of the best. I believe it's never too late.

Committment. Here comes the challenge. It is not just a matter of being a committed teacher but staying committed to San Jose High School. I know the calling is to stay in my alma mater for sometime. After some thinking, well I guess it's worth the sacrifice to forego of that high salary in exchange of the service I can render to my school. I will not yet join the exodus to greener pasture. Mas madali sanang umalis kung hindi lahat sila nagsisi job-hoping. Oh well, i'll just entrust then my future to God. Anyway, it is his calling. My yes to the vocation He is asking from me. For how long? Only God knows. But I strongly believe He will not forsake me.

To sum up in two lines the things that I learned from Ms. Victor and Sir Pagsie is a quote from Roldan. Who is Roldan? Well, "if you don't know him, never mind as long as you remember these two lines," as sir Pagsie said.:

LOVE your CALLING with PASSION
it is the MEANING of your LIFE. - Roldan

Passion, Purpose and Mission

Fr. Bacani in our seminar said that if the teacher has the passion, creativity and drive for transformative education will come from it. But if the teacher doesn't believe anymore in what he is teaching, then the passion will die down and it will be just another regular subject, creating students who are successfull in their fields but lacking in conscience and love of God.

To be a CLE (Christian Living Education) teacher is tough. The challenge of this clause: "Walk what you talk" is already tough, I also have to live with sticking with my commitment learning to trust God that I and my career will not become stagnant.Honestly, the low income almost enticed me to transfer to a school where the pay is double and the other one, triple my current income.

Passion to spread the Good New? Yes, I still have that. Yes, I can still fulfill my mission even if I transfer school. But what about God's purpose for me at this time? It is being challenged.

There are two factors affecting my passion:

1. As a young professional, it is the trend to aim where you can get the highest salary ever. That's why even in the field of education, many fresh graduates transfer from one school to the other, always seeking who can give them the highest compensation for their skill and talent. It is a force that even affects me. That's why in the past days, I feel left out because I am the one of the few who remained to stay and people around are still wondering why am I still there? This is somewhat affecting my Passion.

2. In the faculty, I cannot deny that there are people who are bitter and in other words, teachers who lost their passion. They may only be one or two but if one is always with them especially if they are in your department, in one way or the other, they can erase or remove the passion out of you. This already happened to a dear friend, driving her to not to reapply again. It caused a lot of hurt in her part. Maybe she has forgiven her but we all know that the other person can repeat history.

On the other hand, I came to realize that the more that that passion is being challenged, the more that the purpose and mission is being reminded and strengthened. The passion drives me to be the best teacher for this world. My mission nortures this passion. And God's purpose for me gives me the strength to carry on and leads me on the steps that I take.

But what keeps these three intact? Prayer. Somewhere in our seminar, Fr. Bacani also mentioned that if the passion is waning or is already is gone, do not forget PRAYER. Everytime that I feel so down, I still pray even if I don't feel like doing so. Just like last week when I'm planning on a career move, because of prayer, maybe I have totally forgotten God's purpose for me. I could have joined tha band-wagon. Prayer also reminded me that the hardships these days are temporary. I can feel God's promise for me that even in this lifetime, he will go on blessing me and my family. That this story will become a testimony of God's faithfullness.

Anticipating this school year

May 26, 2008 will be the day i'll be reporting for another school year. That would be the first day of enrollment and everybody will be busy again.

For some days now, I am anticipating what would the environment be with the coming of 10 or more new co-teachers. I am excited to know them and work with. Excited also for another chance to continue to learn more and master my craft as an educator. And excited also to know my load: that means, will I be teaching the higher years? Will my Arts 2 load be replaced with the Values Education Subjects? Will the BEC load be given back to us CLE teachers or will they remain to be handled by the advisers? What will be my advisory class? the question goes on and on but I'll have to patiently wait.

(Sigh) but honestly, with the excitement comes the same question that's bothering me for some time now. That is, to stay or follow the trend.

I enjoy my job and service in my alma mater and wish I would stay there 'till retirement but with the exodus of teachers for a greener pasture, I realized that success even in the teaching profession is also composed of good, if not the best financial compensation and appreciation of the administration of its teacher's efforts. Two co-workers who became close friends already resigned and another one is expected to leave after one or two years. My former teachers who became co-workers are also gone.

I don't know until when will this lingering question bother my mind but for this school year, i'll still try to continue mastering my craft. As one line that struck me in our seminar today says: " ...strive not only be the best in the world but be the best 'for' the world whatever your profession is."

Stations of the Cross (Class Notes)

STATIONS OF THE CROSS

When we make the Stations of the Cross, we think of the sufferings of Jesus for love of us. We accompany him from Jerusalem to Calvary.

Jesus suffered and died so that he may save us from sin and hell so that he may bring us to heaven. Let us make the Stations of the Cross with devotion. Let us think of Jesus and how much he loves us.

PREPARATORY PRAYER

Dear Jesus, you suffered so much for me. Help me to understand how much you love me. I want to love you too. I want to accept my cross for love of you. I am sorry for having offended you many times. I want to really good. Please help me.

First Station: The Last Supper

L: We adore you, O Christ, and bless you.

R: Because by your holy cross you have redeemed the world.

A: Jesus multiplied the loaves of bread and fish to feed the hungry. He continues to feed us… with himself, in the Eucharist. May I frequently receive Him in Holy Communion.

Second Station: The Agony in Gethsemani

L: We adore you, O Christ, and bless you.

R: Because by your holy cross you have redeemed the world.

A: Jesus accepted gladly the Father’s will as He prayed, “Father, not my will but let your will be done unto me.” May I also learn to entrust everything into God’s hands.

Third Station: Jesus is Condemned to Death

L: We adore you, O Christ, and bless you.

R: Because by your holy cross you have redeemed the world.

A: Jesus has accepted the death sentence from Pilate. He is going to die. But he does not defend himself. He is willing to die for me. Am I willing to do even difficult things for Jesus? My Jesus, mercy!

Fourth Station: Jesus is Scourged and Crowned with Thorns

L: We adore you, O Christ, and bless you.

R: Because by your holy cross you have redeemed the world.

A: Jesus bears all the punishment and insults because He loves us so much in spite of who we are. May I also learn to sacrifice myself for others.

Fifth Station: Jesus Carries the Cross

L: We adore you, O Christ, and bless you.

R: Because by your holy cross you have redeemed the world.

A: Jesus takes the cross upon his shoulder without complaining. I want to be like Jesus. I want to be brave when there is something to suffer. Lord, teach me how.

Sixth Station: Jesus Falls

L: We adore you, O Christ, and bless you.

R: Because by your holy cross you have redeemed the world.

A: Jesus wants me to struggle and not to quit; to persevere and not to give up, just as He persevered even when completely drained to strength due to the burden of the cross.

Seventh Station: Simon of Cyrene Helps Jesus Carry the Cross

L: We adore you, O Christ, and bless you.

R: Because by your holy cross you have redeemed the world.

A: Simon did not want to help you, Jesus. But now he does and feels happy. I feel the same Jesus. Sometimes I feel lazy to help my mother or my little sister. But when I fight against my laziness, I feel happy.

Eight Station: Jesus meets the Women of Jerusalem

L: We adore you, O Christ, and bless you.

R: Because by your holy cross you have redeemed the world.

A: Jesus says to them: “Daughters of Jerusalem, weep not for me but for yourselves and for your children.”

Jesus, teach me to cry for my sins because the offend you whom I love very much.

Ninth Station: Jesus is Stripped of His Garments

L: We adore you, O Christ, and bless you.

R: Because by your holy cross you have redeemed the world.

A: Jesus smells of blood, sweat, and heat. He is almost fainting. The clothes stick to his wounds. Now the soldiers roughly pull away his garments. The wounds open and begin to bleed again.

Jesus, I ask pardon for our sins. I pray for people who commit sin because of bad books and media.

Tenth Station: The Forgiven Thief

L: We adore you, O Christ, and bless you.

R: Because by your holy cross you have redeemed the world.

A: Jesus forgets the dark spots in people’s lives, and forgives. May I imitate Him in forgiving those who have hurt me.

Eleventh Station: Mother Mary and the Beloved Disciple at the Foot of the Cross

L: We adore you, O Christ, and bless you.

R: Because by your holy cross you have redeemed the world.

A: At the sight of Mother Mary in pain, Jesus was hurt even more. May I love Mother Mary as much as Jesus loved her.

Twelfth Station: The Death of Jesus

L: We adore you, O Christ, and bless you.

R: Because by your holy cross you have redeemed the world.

A: Jesus cries out and says: “Father, into your hands I commend my spirit.” Then he dies.

I adore you, Jesus. I thank you for your love. Let me live and die for you alone because you died for me.

Thirteenth Station: Jesus is Laid in the Tomb

L: We adore you, O Christ, and bless you.

R: Because by your holy cross you have redeemed the world.

A: Sleep Jesus. You have finished suffering. On the third day, you will wake up. You will rise from the dead. You have conquered death. You are great. I believe in you. You are my hero. You are my God.

I want to tell others how much you love us all. They will believe me if I am good. They will know that it is you who makes me good. Help me to be good, Jesus.

Fourteenth Station: The Resurrection of Jesus

L: We adore you, O Christ, and bless you.

R: Because by your holy cross you have redeemed the world.

A: The resurrection of Jesus offered me the way to the Father by opening the gate of heaven. May I take this chance to be good so as to be with God in heaven someday.

(Pray 1 Our Father, 1 Hail Mary, 1 Glory Be, for the intentions of the Holy Father.)

Where Do I Go From Here

hmmmhhhhmmm....

Just finished my 2nd year of teaching but still I'm in a crossroads. It is a joy serving my alma mater and helping in the spiritual formation of the next generation whatever joys and frustrations it takes. But still, I am still thinking what would I do? What will be the next step that I'm going to take in my career life?

I wanted to stay and continue my vocation or calling (yes, it is a calling for even in my dreams signs that led me here guided me and confirmed it). But time and again, situations lead me to think back and decide. This year, 10 teachers resigned for greeneer pasture. Many of the former teachers are calling me to apply where they are. There are a lot of vacancy for me. The pay is better. Well, i still can teach my major.

But looking at the real situation, I'm still a neophyte. I'm still learning. The more teachers going out, the more I feel like staying out of loyalty to this school. And I'm already in my home base, I enjoy walking home if it is not raining. Materially speaking, the pay here would take me years to save for my hobbies: archery and photography, which requires a lot of money and even a dream to go out of the country?

At the end of the day, I am compelled to stay. I know that God have more in store for me. Better than my flawed plans in my life. He will guide me what to do. To stay, or when to leave....Or, am I being deaf? Baka naman sinasabi na ni Lord na "go, change your career and be an IT professional"....huh????

Fast proliferation of gangs and frats in Baguio (and nearby La Trinidad)

Even when I was a high school student, my teachers warned us against joining frats. That if we really become a member of a genuine frat, then better join KC (Knights of Columbus) or other parish based organizations because these are the real fraternities where they live truly to its namesake: "brotherhood". When I was a student, frats were a pain in the head of the administration and parents. Now that I am a teacher, it wasn't only the frats that we're trying to guard our students against. Here comes the 2nd evil: gangs.

Everybody knows already what frats (especially underground ones) do. But for gangs, it is the worst. They call themselves "terrorrists" and they are armed. Enticing many young people to join their group.

What could be the reasons or factors in the fast proliferation of gangs in our locality that they even have local chapters? Maybe these are the following:

• Rebellion

I have a student last year who is indifferent to her father. She is always being told as a bad girl and the black sheep in the family. Reading through her essays and themes, her teachers can say that she doesn't feel any love from her father. In fact, the way of discipline inside their house is through physical pain. She joined a frat/group. From the teachers, to the guidance office, to the family and even the DSWD, everybody tried their effort to win her back. The school gave her second chances. But in the middle of February, she cannot be found anywhere else in Baguio. We cannot do anything but wait. Pinaki-usapan na at lahat ang bata pero sumunod parin sa grupo na yun. On the June of that year, she was found in Pampanga but still has to be under the care of the local DSWD because of the trauma she experienced. Through her grandma, I heard that she finally realized her mistake. She wasted one year of her life just because of her rebellion. And what was worst, it was very hard for her to get away from that group.

• Teenager's need for a sense of belongingness

Most of the students enticed to join these groups are the children of OFW's or parents who doesn't have time for their child. They need a family where they can say they belong. They older role models that they would follow. But most of all, they need the love and affection of a so called "family". Man is a social animal. It is normal for us to long for kin and friends. And in the developmental stage of a teenager, they need this most: "family and friends". Here is where the Church can fill up the hole in these children's hearts. Make our Young People/Parish Youth groups strong. If they can't find it in their homes, then at least they can have this 'sense of belongingness' and 'love' that they are longing for in the Church.

• Fear

Some of the recruits are bullied to join the gang. There are even groups that follow the student even up to their doorstep. Then harm then later on. Maybe the solution here is a strong police vicibility in the locality with the help of the tanods. But it would be even more efficient if the whole community would cooperate, participate and collaborate with the local barangay. If there are malicious looking people around the neighborhood, whom they think would pose a harm not only to their children but even their neighbor's children, then the gang itself will realize that they are powerless against the community. Even if these gangs are armed. Wala naman siguro sa kanila ang may anthrax bomb or nuclear bomb. Or even if they are heavily armed, still peace and order is still stronger if the community would collaborate.

• the feel of Power

The feeling that one is powerful makes one good. Joining gangs would give them the power to retribute against anybody they hate. But again, it gives harmfull consequences if not handled well. It goes back to the home and the local Church. Even if it is a value taught to them many, many times, the application and strengthening of that values especially of humility, meekness and honesty is still in the home. If these three: school, Church and family would again collaborate to embed in our young the values taught to us by our faith, not even Satan himself can entice our young to join those bad groups.

I have students who strongly oppose and decline bravely these gangs and frats. If you look into their backgrounds, they have strong family ties. And even if their parents are OFW's they are members of parish youth groups or their relatives takes good care of them.

Again, our strong weapons against these modern social problems are: Family, Church and a collaborative Community.

A Dog of Flanders by Loise de la Ramee

The last time I shed tears because of this story was on a night I was watching tv, peeking through the book whenever there's a commercial. It made me shed tears in the middle of a romance-comedy show! Wow, made me realize how powerfull the story is.

I remember the fist time I watched a cartoon of this book. My brother, sister and me are always anticipating this show in the morning of one summer vacation. All of us are in the elementary grade that time. Crying or shedding tears was a taboo for the three of us else, one would be turtured through their teasing. The show was colorful, but little did we know that it has a tragic ending. But the most unfogetable of it was when all three of us can't stop crying. Well, we could just have turned off the tv but hey, how will we know how did it end! So all egos gone, we watched and fell silent even when the credits are already going up. Normally, we could have just teased one another.

There were older young people in the next house to ours. Only that day did I know they are also watching the show. I overheard their reactions and discussions about it. They also cried!

Second time I encountered this title was when a children's story book was on my palms. I read it and for the second time, I went to sleep crying, waking up the next day with eye bugs. Made one wonder what was my problem that i cried that much, huh....He he he...it was just a children's storybook.

Lately, it was just this April. Watching a Korean telenovela: "Lovers" while reading A Dog of Flanders for the 2nd time. Well, the effect was the same. Made me wonder if other people feel the same way whenever they read or watch about Nello and Patrasche.

I searched the internet and found my answer. Yes, it is really a tear-jerker both for old and young people especially when watched. There was even a website made for it and some video clip in youtube.

Just in case you never heard this children's classic, just click on the links below:

http://www.classicreader.com/read.php/bookid.1373/sec.1/

http://www.patrasche.net

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Dog_of_Flanders

A simple reflection on the story: "A Christmas Carol" by Charles Dickens

I've heard about this tale even before. Through a comic book, cartoons and children's bedtime storybook. But this time it was different because i was reading it the old english way of narrating a story. I wonder if I was the original. But I think it is, becuase of the wit and wisdom in it. I saw this book in the old archives of our local school library donated by some european friends of the school long long time ago. Sadly I can't find the date of publication.

Anyway, I love the way it was told. At first, I had a hard time trying to understand the language. But in time, I was able to adjust and keep my imagination running while reading.

It tells about the an adventure with three spirits who visited Mr. Scrooge on one Christmas eve: Christmas past, Christmas present and Christmas future. Each one of them accompanied Scrooge according to their namesake.

With Christmas past, Scrooge was shown as a poor and lonely but handsome young man. Full of promise and though we don't know much about his father, he is with a gentle, kind and generous boss who played as a role model for him.He even has a sweetheart who is discribed as a fair lady. The reader wonders how come he is so cold, mean and bitter even in the present Christmas eve. He was so happy with his journey with Christmas past. But towards the end of their journey, it starts to answer the question of the reader. It was his own choice. He had an opportunity to love and to be loved but he just let go of it. He even shooed it away. She was a young and beautiful but he let go of her and focused too much on his career and how to get rich with no heart of generousity at all. He didn't even rewarded himself even with a little luxury.

Then came Christmas present. Together they journeyed from one home of an acquaintance to another. Scrooge saw the things that he missed because of his choice long ago. He is even made into a laughingstock in his nephew's home. He is indifferent and unaffected 'till they came into the home of his one and only employee. He is a father to a simple family and one of his sons is ill. With the character of Scrooge boing a stoic, I was glad that he showed some concern to the boy. He asked Christmas present if the boy will live but the spirit only gave him a vague answer.

And last is the spirit of the future. It showed how pitiful it will be. He is a rich man but nobody will give him some respect or any concern at all. The beggars would gladly divide upon his garments and people who knows him just shrugged their shoulder when they learned about his death. But what touched Scrooge the most was when he learned that in the future, the boy will die becuase of how hard life is. Of course it is not only because of Scrooge's doing but it will be a cummulative effect of the selfishness of man. But still Scrooge felt guilty because he is one of them. Scrooge cried and pleaded to the dreadfull spirit to help him undo the ugly things that will happen in the future.

Scrooge wakes up that Christmas day. Very glad and happy but most of all, gratefull that he was given the chance to undo the effects of his bitterness on the future. He didn't waste a second. He asked a boy to buy a huge turkey for his one and only employee and tipped the boy generously. He gave a surprise visit to his nephew not minding how they made fun of him the night before. In time, many people benefitted out of Scrooge's generousity and what made him the happiest most was that, the boy lived a long and fruitful life with Scrooge becoming a second father to him. Untinkable for a character like his but again, it is a choice. It was his choice to get out of his bitterness and savor life and it's sweetness.

Two classical truths comes out from this story:

1. materialism cannot give us genuine happiness and
2. sometimes, happiness is a matter of our day to day choices.

I will not expound on these two points anymore. I want my readers to think and reflect on it upon themselves.