October 24, 2008. I've finally decided to take the belt exams. Ready or not, in good physical condition or tired, I have to. I've stalled myself for too long a time.
I've been practicing karate for reasons of discipline and physical fitness only. The discipline part is already hard because as Sensei Jun said, "diay bagi yu ti kalaban yu ditoy" (During practices, it is the self that is the real opponent). To endure pain and push your body to the limits, to discipline the mind to counter the whinning self and focus on the training are already some challenge.
And yes! Finally, I've reached third kyu. But with the higher rank of belt comes greater challenges and responsibility. I have to constantly remind myself to train harder. To put more zeal in the trainings and stop thinking of myself and be a good example to the lower belts.
Here again, I see God's hands at work. He wants me to push harder and to overcome the self. He constantly reminds me of the past. Of Senseis and Sempais who are an inspiration. They are not only good at karate but what I like best at them is their character. A result of the dojokun they carry with them always. They taught me well by word and by example. If before I was their younger sister, now I have to be the elder.
Honestly, I am already the oldest student when it comes to age at the Epiphany gym. The other adults are I think somewhere else around the globe if not in the Philippines. Looking at these young bloods, I can see myself in them. Whatever attitude I carry, they might immitate it. Just like what my seniors have imbibed in me when I was their age. I wonder what am I influencing on them? Is it discipline or lazyness? Hope its the good one.
Responsibility and the invitation to take the challenge are the two things that kept me from advancing. Not only in karate but in some aspect of my life. But hey, I have to move on. I know I can do much more better than my current performance. I am now facing my 'Jungian dragon.' And the belt exams is only the beginning. (Hey, this decision might even push me to join a tournament ha ha...)
